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THE WARREN-WATCHUNG CONNECTION
SEPTEMBER 2013
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Recommended
From Tiny Footsteps to
Creating a Footprint
By: Ellyn Mantell
I was speaking with a young man, as it turned out, a very wise young man, young enough,
perhaps, to even be my child. Coincidentally, he has two daughters, as do I, but he is in the
“
raising them” stage, as I am in the “watching my daughters raise their children” stage.
Perspective is a beautiful thing…with it comes the ability to praise what one is saying or
doing, with no need to defend what I have or haven’t done. This young man, a doctor by
profession, is clearly vested in creating amazing women, and to that end, he is preparing
his daughters to make a footprint, a mark on our society, that is strong and accomplished
and timely. He believes, and rightly so, that there will soon be a female president, more
female business leaders, politicians, entrepreneurs, and so on. I can remember when my
husband attended law school and there were only handful of female students, whereas
now, in many schools, there are more than 50% female students.
Asking how he is preparing his daughters for their place in society, he explained that the
all-girl school they attend values and promotes strong leadership, and to that end, I would
assume a large dose of self-esteem is part and parcel of the curriculum. Fostering a sense
that women are capable of doing anything they desire is a major accomplishment, since in
our fairly recent history, we have had a predilection to consider our gender “the weaker
sex” and not worthy of voting, driving, being paid equally, and other rights that men have
garnered because of nothing more than their gender. His interest, (and of course his abili-
ty) to send his daughters to a private school that is determined and prepared to mold the
minds of young women with strength, so they know they are capable of accomplishing
what they desire, is wonderful. That such a school exists is exciting for society.
But what intrigued me most was the “homework” he gives his girls, which I assume is
based on their age. He gives them famous people (both genders, I believe) and they write
a paragraph about the “who, when, where and what” of their lives, their contributions to
their world. These weekly assignments help his daughters to become familiar with histori-
cal people, but they will undoubtedly find the intersecting qualities that are intrinsic to high
achievers. This modeling is so teachable, I can imagine the light going on when words such
as resourceful, determined, focused, self-confident appear in those paragraphs. Almost like
a crossword or Sudoku puzzle, the lines criss-cross and merge to create a menu of desirable
qualities. It is one thing to tell our daughters (or sons) what it takes to make a difference,
but it is an even better exercise to have them search out and recognize those qualities in
others that have gone before.
Sadly, mediocrity seems to be more acceptable today than ever before, and that is rein-
forced by the “WHATEVER!” attitude prevalent in so many job-performers with whom we
interface. There is a tendency to let ourselves off the hook, acknowledge “my bad” and
move on, rather than take responsibility for a poor or undesirable outcome. I am not cer-
tain how this has happened, how we have gone from a society that valued and had pride
in a job well done to a society that shakes its collective head and accepts ineptness. But I
do know that, as I have told my daughters as they raise their daughters and sons, there is
a wonderful opportunity for change. Imagine if my grandchildren, and other children, rec-
ognize how successful they will be in life if they strive to be somewhat different, somewhat
more responsible, somewhat more willing to go the distance in their jobs and their inter-
ests. Imagine if these young women and men actually think out an answer, and forgo their
total dependence upon just finding the answer on one of their many electronic devices. I
know we cannot “put the genie back in the bottle” but we do need to put our children’s
minds back in the framework of thinking, collecting information, following decision-mak-
ing techniques, or I fear our minds will become unused and stagnant.
No doubt, I am over-reacting to what I see, or even think I see. Man is ever-evolving, and
as such, will continue to meet the next challenges as previous ones. But I like the idea of
looking back and seeing what made some women and men successful, what qualities were
observable, were those inborn or acquired, and how can we instill them over and over
again in our young. I was impressed with what this young physician told me of his desire
to raise strong successful women, and I can only hope in their lifetime they will see a world
where strong women raise strong children of both sexes, and that there will be no distinc-
tion, because achieving is its own reward. As a footstep in history, that will be a footprint
for a brighter future for our children, and for all of those to come.
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