PAGE 36
www.theconnectionsnj.com
Spotlight on
“
SeniorS”
Michael R. O’Donnell
Attorney at Law
Personal Injury, Traffic Court
Wills & Trusts, Juvenile Offenses
66
Finderne Avenue • Bridgewater, NJ 08807
908-725-9990
Fax: 908-725-9993
modonnell@theodonnelllawfirm.com
www.theodonnelllawfirm.com
908-903-1799
Fax
732-667-8488
email: Connectionsnj@gmail.com
www.theconnectionsnj.com
Next Exciting Issue
SEPTEMBER 2013
APPROVAL
DEADLINE
July 31
2013
THE CONNECTION MAGAZINES
HELPING OUR PARENTS
BREAK THE CLUTTER SPELL
By: Patricia Diesel, CPC
It’s not unusual for our parents to remain in the
house we were raised in. Most people end up
staying in their homes for a very long time. This
holds some merit and quite frankly can be
endearing.
As a matter of fact, many elderly do very well in
their homes. They manage to go about their busi-
ness and have their routines yet, if needed, will
graciously accept help. This can come in many
forms, such as cleaning the house, paying bills,
running errands and purging items that could
potentially accumulate into too much clutter.
Then of course, there is the other side of things.
Seniors who have held on to too many things
and remain stuck. Each item is a memory that
they are not willing to part with and unfortu-
nately feel they can not live without.
It may be common place to see newspapers and
magazines piled high. Spoiled food in and out of
the fridge. The maintenance of the home deteri-
orating and excess clutter spreading into all areas
of the home.
A Matter of Perspective
As children, we may view our parents’ stuff as
objects cluttering up their lives. Our parents,
however, may see it from another perspective.
Although we may see our parents’ home as
being populated with broken, forgotten, or use-
less objects, they may not.
What we may see as hazardous living conditions;
such as large piles that have inhabited the floor
space, posing a danger of them tripping or suf-
fering an injury, they have become conditioned
to see as normal.
Mentioning the subject of cleaning up the
house, is not always met with “Gee, that’s a
great idea.” It’s more likely to be seen as a threat
or one step closer to being moved out of their
home.
And let’s not underestimate this point: We worry
about the possibility of inheriting all their stuff
one day, while they may view it as passing down
a generation of treasures.
The challenge is our parents do not necessarily
think their home is overly cluttered. Instead, they
see their “things” as a way to help them recap-
ture memories. Memories that unfold stories of
their lives that they find joy in.
What we may perceive as disposable objects,
ready to hit the trash - for our parents, it repre-
sents something so much more. Sometimes the
tales behind the clutter can also reveal inner strug-
gles of untapped potential or unfulfilled dreams.
Letting go of things that represent unfinished
business can be a very emotional time for parents
and a difficult task to take on for the children.
Why does one acquire things?
There are varying degrees of answers to this but
the staggering amount of people affected by
clutter is rising. To such degrees that self-storage
units are no longer profiting from the transient
mover, they are now capitalizing on the people
who need additional space to house their stuff
permanently.
So how do we break our parents clutter
spell?
Begin by getting clear on what the motivational
factor is behind the need to de-clutter.
For example:
•
We want our parents to live in a safe, clean
environment that is conducive to healthy living.
•
We want to reduce our risk of inheriting their
clutter.
•
We want to deal with it now before it
becomes too unmanageable.
•
We want to prepare the house for a real estate
sale.
•
We want to reduce the risk of injury.
Once you understand your motivation, your
commitment to a “call to action” plan has a
greater chance for success.
Here are some ideas to help you and your par-
ents on your way:
Try An Experiment
Make a hypothesis about how sad you would
feel if you got rid of something you are having
difficulty parting with. Then throw the artifact
away and compare your resulting distress with
the hypothesis. Typically your reaction should be
far less severe than you’d feared. Once you expe-
rience this, it might be a little easier to let the
next treasured item go.
Create A Memory
Before giving away your things that you consid-
er to be treasures, videotape or photograph
them. Now you have a permanent record and
can share with family members.
Make Charities Work
Select a charity that you believe in and feel good
about to donate your items. It makes it easier to
let go of your items this way. In return, ask for a
tax-deductible receipt.
Take Baby Steps
One room, or one part of the room at a time is
the key here. Remember, clutter loves unfinished
business, so make sure you follow through and
finish to completion.
Seek Support
Seek the aid of an experienced professional
organizer or clutter coach. Consider joining a
clutter support group – check on line for one in
your local area. It’s a good way to work on man-
aging those behaviors that created the clutter,
especially if you feel you are experiencing chal-
lenges with letting go of your parent’s stuff.
Patricia Diesel
is a prominent certified professional
organizer, life coach and author who conveys her life-
transforming lessons through her travels, speaking
engagements and media appearances, including
Good Morning America, Lifetime
and
The Learning
Channel.
She has helped countless individuals restore
tranquility and sense to their lives by using her unique
abilities to encourage release, order, and constructive
engagement with the personal environment. Please
visit her website at www.KeepItSimpleNow.com. To
contact Patricia, call 908-642-1226, email at
patriciadiesel@keepitsimplenow.com.
O
RGANIZE
THAT
Conquer Procrastination
Overcome Distractions
Reduce Stress
Increase Productivity
Control Clutter
Manage Time
Patricia Diesel
PO, CEC, Author/Columnist
Keep It Simple Now, LLC
908-642-1226
www.keepitsimplenow.com
PROFESSIONAL
Organizing and Life
COACHING SERVICES
SUPER SPECIAL
Sign Up for
3
Coaching Sessions
&
Get a Fourth One
FREE
Get Organized and Improve
The Quality Of Your Life
Call Now
For Your
FREE
Assessment
Kit
e
link
link
link
link